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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The best place in Taipei to................take a dump!!!

So as most foreigners will know, a lot of the toilets in Taipei are squat toilets.  These are difficult to use when you first arrive in Taiwan especially when you are used to sitting on the toilet reading the newspaper while taking a dump!





I want to give you some advice so you can manage to get used to these kind of squat toilets:

First of all, when you arrive make a mental list of your favourite toilets, and know the fastest way to get there.  This way you will never need to bother with the dreaded squatter!

If you can't make it to one of your favourite toilets and have a mad dash to any.  When you open the door and go inside to your horror it is a squatter, don't panic head inside and watch out where you put your feet!  You don't want to fall inside the toilet now do you!  

Second, take off your pants, and boxers.  This way there will be no potential for embarrassment when you leave the toilet.  You don't want to have any kind of blow back or dribbles onto your pants and then have shit all up the back of your pants and arse!  This would not go down well anywhere, imagine if you didn't even realise!!!




Make sure you go inside with some toilet roll, as a lot of public toilets in Taipei City have the toilet roll outside the actual toilet for some reason.  This is odd, the first time I rushed into a toilet I didn't take any toilet roll inside and had to pull up my pants without wiping to go and look for toilet roll, you don't want this to happen to you!

Lastly when you leave, don't forget your pants and boxers, this would be a bit stupid but if someone left without any pants on i'm sure they would be in some kind of trouble ha!

Onto my favourite place in Taipei to take a shit.  I think the best place to take a shit is in the big massive Eslite bookstore by Taipei 101.  Sometimes I only go there for a shit.  This might sound crazy but their toilets are superb.  There is loads of room inside, there very very clean, and they have loads and loads of buttons on the side to play with while your busy.  One of the buttons even heats the toilet seat.  I don't know why it is needed in Taipei because it is normally hot all year around.  It is a novelty all the same that I enjoy. 




Here is a foreigner survival list for the dreaded squat toilet.

1.  Only use in cases of emergency
2.  Remember where your favourite toilets are, make mental notes of how to get there quickly.
3.  Don't forget to take in some toilet roll, as sometimes it is outside.
4.  Be careful not stand inside the toilet.  You might think this is stupid, but when it is a hole in the floor it is quite possible.
5.  Take off pants and boxers in case of any blow backs, or dribbles down your pants.  You don't wanna leave the toilet covered in shit do you!
6.  When you leave, don't forget your pants and boxers!  They are essential!