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Friday, May 4, 2018

Rage walking and a bloke watching porn in Starbucks


I normally need to have a rage walk once or twice every day, it sounds a bit drastic but something really sends me into a rage that much that I need to get outside and calm the shit down.

Yesterday however I needed a longer rage walk than normal, as the nonsense that goes on in Taiwanese companies is unreal. Basically, a guy wouldn’t just tell me the number I needed, instead I had to figure out where to find this number. I’m supposed to receive an email with information about the work but didn’t, and to make the rage even worse this bloke had looked to see if work had been approved, he saw the number, then went to other management system to type a message for me to input the number he needs there. The same number he had seen now two or three times. 

Even though he had seen the number so much he wouldn’t just pass the number onto me or tell me the number so I could finish the task. Because in his words; that’s not his job to do that. That’s my job. So I had to call the woman who deals with the system in the main office located in another city just to get the number for the guy who wants it, the guy who has looked at the number he needs at least three times but won’t just forward the number to me. And they believe teamwork exists in Taiwan, if teamwork does exist I’d happily let you show me where because I’m of the firm belief most of your Taiwanese colleagues would rather take a massive shit on you instead of helping with anything even if it is work they need. 

The reason for this is because schools, companies and anywhere else where people are supposed to be working to achieve a shared outcome make everything competitive. The bosses and people in charge want to generate a working environment whereby your colleagues will refuse to help, even if it’s just finding out a number because they’re not listed to work on that task and even if they cannot complete their task without me completing my task. In a nutshell they all seem to have little man syndrome where they want to look good by making you look shit. All in the name of working their way up the ladder in some soulless company where they’re a number, a company where they cannot go home until their manager goes home, or they have to stay until midnight because of another bleeding made up emergency. 

So as the rage burned, I grabbed my coffee and stormed outside, with no destination or purpose I just wondered aimlessly in a circle as steam was blowing out my ears like a bugs bunny cartoon. I amble right past a Starbucks just as I need a piss, so rush on inside to do the business hoping no one is already in the toilet because if I had to wait 30 minutes the piss might have started to slowly dribble down my leg. 

Luckily no one was inside and unlike the good Taiwanese folk I was swiftly in and out in a jiffy. As I was walking out of the Starbucks something caught my attention in the corner of my eye, a geezer to the left of me was watching porn in the middle of bloody Starbucks. I only caught a brief glimpse, and assumed he didn’t notice that I had clocked him. A did a swift double back and pretended to be browsing the coffees on the shelf but I really I wanted to check I wasn’t going do Lally tap. 

His MacBook was open for the whole coffee shop to see, little Apple headphones plugged in and some woman getting he vadge smashed in for anyone to see. I really wanted to get a sly picture of the idiot but unfortunately he had clocked on to the fact that I had clocked him and I wasn’t really browsing for coffees. When he noticed someone saw him he flipped the late down and hastily exited Starbucks. I must say it was a pretty odd situation, why would he watch porn in the middle of Starbucks like that, I’m sure it’s not the advert Starbucks and apple were going for when they target trendy hipster wankers. As for wanking, I reckon Starbucks owe me, because no doubt he was one step away from wapping his dong out and bashing one out while everyone is sat in blissful enjoyment sipping a coffee. 

So Starbucks send your free vouchers to me for being the saviour of the day, ta.