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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Old people on scooters in Taiwan!

The old people who ride around Taiwan on their scooters are some of the most annoying people on the road.  There are many reasons for this, but I will explain a few now.  These are from my own experience, and all my own thoughts.  If anyone gets pissed off, tough shit.

Reason number 1.  They either drive extremely fast, or extremely slow.  Like marmite there is no middle ground when it comes to the old codgers out here!

Reason number 2.  They don't care about anyone's safety including their own.  Now I know they are super old, and they probably don't give a shit if they have another crash.  Some of us still want to live.  There was one moment when I was turning around a corner and some old woman rode her scooter into the side of me at a reasonable speed.  She got met full on with a Jackie Chan kick.  That will teach her to watch the road next time instead of ooogling food shops and stands!

Reason number 3.  Most old people look like they have had their scooter for about 150 years, passing it on through the generations.  They generally have no mirrors, and all sorts of fumes and smoke is tearing its way out of their exhaust and into my nose!  




Reason number 4.  This is linked to reason number 3.  Most of the scooters old people ride around on, look like bits of the scooter will fall off at any given moment.  They can often be seen sporting holes, and all sorts of other battle wounds that they have gathered through their 150 years of existence.

Reason number 5.  Old people seem to like randomly stopping their scooter on the middle of a bridge with no warning.  I have noticed this very crazy habit is often practiced by old people here in Taiwan generally during peak traffic times for adding old people points!

Reason number 6.  Even though they are on a scooter, and doing 15km per hour, they like to sit in the middle of the road so no one else can get passed them.  There was one moment when I was crossing one of the many bridges, when one old woman was stuck right in the middle of the road.  The traffic was completely back logged and going ape shit with her, tooting like mother fuckers!  This old woman was oblivious and didn't give one hell of a shit!  She just rode on like she was either deaf and in need of hearing aids, or an utter bad ass mother fucker, king and queen of the old folks all rolled into one!

This is a disabled scooter which can be seen all over Taiwan.