Taiwanese Movies Part 2

Hen Ma Ke's rating system:

1 = Soft as shite!  (Utterly shit don't watch!)
2 = I wear pink and will bitch slap you.  (OK if you wanna waste some time)
3 = Not gonna fuck you up, not soft as shite, just somewhere in the middle like Tottenham!  (this film is alright and worth a watch.)
4 = Hard as nails!  (Good film, will deliver some knock out blows, and killer punches.)
5 = It's gonna fuck you up!  (this film is that good, it's gonna fuck you up big time!)

Girlfriend Boyfriend

This film begins in the 80's when Taiwan is still under military control.  There is a lot of civil unrest, and the political situation is a good back drop to the film.  I have seen a lot of reviews say that the political back drop didn't help the film much, because it was more in the background and the situation of the time, than the actual plot of the film.  I personally think this was better for the film as it was not made to be a political film, and felt like it was just trying to portray what life was like from this time period.

The story revolves around 3 main characters.  They are best friends and you follow their lives from high school, through uni and beyond!  Ha, well not so far beyond but you get the point.  The main plot of the story is the love triangle between the 3 characters.  Which goes something a little like this.  Girl loves guy, guy loves guy, other guy loves girl.  

I really liked this film a lot, and would recommend anyone to watch it.  I think story is good, it has a lot going on it to keep you entertained.  I didn't think it would be as good as it was mainly from the name.  Anyway, watch this film.  It is good.

Rating - Hard as nails!

Starry, Starry Night

This film was a little weird for my liking.  It was very arty and it annoyed me how arty they tried to be.  Like when Xiao Mei was daydreaming abouts things, or seeing monsters run around on the walls.  It was just too goddamn much!

The premise of the story goes like this, Xiao Mei lived in a small village with her grandmother.  Now her grandmother is ill and she cannot live with her anymore, so she has to go back to the city and live with her parents.  Her parents have a troubled relationship and it affects Xiao Mei a lot and she pines for the days when she could be sat back in the small village with her grandmother. 

She meets another troubled kid next door, and funnily enough he is Xiao Jie!  Even the fact they had similar bloody names got to me, Xiao Mei, and Xiao Jie what the hell is all that about.  Super bloody annoying.  Anyway the two of them get to know each other very well and manage to build a good friendship. One day Xiao Mei saves Jie from the bullies, and they get even closer.  

Anyway, this film bugged the hell out of me with all their arty abstract thoughts and feelings, don't get me wrong I can deal with thoughts and feelings in films.  I even like that a lot in certain films, but when it is over done it gets on your fucking man boobs!

Rating -  I wear pink and will bitch slap you. 


Monga is a Taiwanese gangster movie that is set in the 1980's and revolves around Wanhua district.  On his first day at school Mosquito has his chicken drumstick stolen and is offered to join a gang.  He accepts this offer.  They then work on becoming the top gangsters in the Wanhua District area.  

The main characters in the movie are all friends, and are doing well in the gangster world.  As everyone knows this never lasts, because other gangsters get pissed off that someone has knocked them off their perch, or can see how well they are doing and want a piece of the pie!  As you can imagine a lot of the older guys are pissed off that the new kids on the block are rocking and rolling there way to the top, by kicking arse and being cool.  

In the end there is a bad case of betrayal which is disgusting, you should do those kind of things to your mates, also what really fucks up the gangsters in Monga is the new use of guns.  Before things kicked off there was proper rules on how to act and behave as a gang, when it kicked off the rules were broken and it was open war fare!

This film was great, and I couldn't recommend it enough!

Rating - It's gonna fuck you up!

Black & White Episode 1: The Dawn of Assault

I really had high hopes for this film, as it was getting loads of publicity and some decent reviews here in Taiwan.  I went to watch it at the second round cinema and I thought it was a pile of turd. Taiwanese people really seem to struggle with action films unfortunately from what I have seen of them so far.

The story is about a police office who is fearless, and doesn't believe they cant do the right thing and arrest the gangster causing loads and loads of problems for the city.  In a weird turn of events he ends up working with a gangster as partners, to find another one.

Its pretty bad, and the story does not fit together well at it, it feels like parts got cut too much, and it just felt very disjointed, also it didn't spend any time to explain any of the characters they just appeared for no reason, disappeared for another, and then add explosion.  Boom!  Follow, repeat, add 1 hour and a bit and that this film in a nut shell!

Rating -  I wear pink and will bitch slap you. 

The Soul of Bread

This film was awful.  Totally awful, a guy shows up from France in Taiwan looking for his mothers home town and city. His big interest was he wanted to find out how he managed to be so interested in and make great, amazing, awesome, super, mega, wanktastic bread.  The place he just happened to end up staying with happened to be a bread shop, and the family happened to make bread.  He didn't look much at all just found the family straight away and got to stay with them.

He falls in love with the girl in the shop, who is practically married to the other guy who works there.  Which is an utter low blow to pull.  You show up from Paris unannounced, show off with your sexy bread making skills to embarrass the local guy, and not only that you then steal his soon to be wife.  What an arsehole, but really the story is crap.  I wouldn't waste my time with this sheeeeeeeet if I knew it was gonna be so bad.  The whole plot was just so bad it made you want to give up, but it was one of those things where you think this cannot be it, and it must improve, but it just bloody well doesn't!

Answer=don't waste your bloody time!

Rating - Soft as shite!

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