Dog helmet

As I was flying around on my scooter today running errands and being utterly full of busy as always, I came across this gadgie in a dog or bear helmet I can't really make it out.  We should just call it a doer or a beog helmet to settle the issue.  Anyway I had to get a picture of it, and I was thinking I should purchase one if I ever work back in kindy again, kids will love it if I rock up to the kindy in one of these bad lads! 

And yes that is me with the I love Newcastle sticker on my fat noggin! 

Bruce Wayne wears...

Chocolate, thats right folks, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls.  Apparently according to a sign I saw today Bruce Wayne in fact does wear chocolate! 

Although I think it would look better if Bruce Wayne was actually wearing chocolate and not wearing a suit made by a company called chocolate.  Now that would be a good sight to see, "all right Bruce there is a problem in Gotham you need to piss off to the Bat Cave, and woah fuck me why are you covered in....wait....is that.....fuck me yes it is your covered in chocolate!" 

Or sometimes I think I just have too much imagination!

New favourite teaching aid

My new teaching aid is awesome.  I didn't think it would work so well because my students that I would be testing it on today we're older and I thought they wouldn't be interested in it at all.  It seems I was wrong and they did like it.  When I pulled out this bad boy they got all excited. 

I did however draw a target on the whiteboard, with a bad drawing of me in the middle saying they could kill me if they shot me.  Turns out killing the teacher is all the rage!  Anyway if they hit me smack bang middle in the head they got a whopping 50 points because that's how good I am!  I want a nice quick death, now a slow agonising painful one from a stray shot to the big toe, and then I bleed to death slowly for hours!

Free Soap

Zhongshan Sports Centre we're giving out free soap today.  When I went swimming and paid the readies they then dished me out this cute looking white thing.  I had no clue what it was cos i'm dirty and don't know the Chinese word for soap.  For some reason I thought it was a big white chocolate and was gonna eat it until she told me it was soap, then I took it outside to show Jen and she confiscated it! 

Good Job I got some free soap, it looks like I need it!!! 

春联 Chuan Lian (Chinese New Year Message) - Xing Tian Temple!

So today I queued at Xingtian temple today with Jen and Sonia for free chun lian (this is the Chinese New year messages you see stuck up around places on red paper.)  The temple were handing them out for free, and it is apparently famous.  Hey this is Taiwan, there is a queue so yes its famous!  I got one and actually I think they are just as good as the ones I paid good old fashioned money for!  We ended up re queuing to get more of them, you could actually just keep re queuing which was a bit odd they should of just given you it all at once I suppose. 

As this temple is next to work I have been slinking off at times and popping into the temple to have a bit of a prayer to the god.  Thinking all the gods here just dealt with the same god, like they preach about back home I thought I could just go to any.  Turns out you have to go to a specific one for a specific thing, and I have been praying to the fighting god for the last couple of months, about work and trying to heal my foot (I am beyond going to doctors for my foot now and I am now seeking some divine intervention!!!!) Or some kind of traditional method to heal my foot from online!  This is the guy from the Three Kingdoms, and Red Cliff (famous asian movie if you don't know) is the movie about the Three Kingdoms.  So I have been praying to a warrior god yeeeeha!!!! 

Also I have been asking the warrior god questions like Taiwanese people do.  Taking the plastic things shaped like Bamboo and throwing them on the floor.  How they land is the answer.  I don't really know the patterns for the answer, I generally have to ask someone for the answer as you do when your a foreigner, but it seems divine intervention has been working so far.  The questions I have asked have mainly been about my foot and my new job.

There are certain ways to how they land to how he answers, but the answers can be:

Yes
No 
Maybe

I am glad I haven't got a maybe yet, I prefer my gods to be giving me a firm yes, or a no!  This is what the things look like that you throw onto the floor.

Homework that cracks me up!

Well when I was marking the homework today, I eventually came across some that were hilarious!  The first one the sentence is not wrong but in English it has a very different meaning to what the kid in my class meant!!!  I was sat in old Starbucks cracking on with the marking being a bit bored and rocking out to some old chooons when I came across the first funny homework of the day!!!!  I started to chuckle rather loudly and the eyes of Starbucks were upon me, boy I can make a scene!

Here is what I am talking about.  Sandy and Bobo are girls names. 

Bobo and Sandy are more energetic than that dirty dog!  Aye aye!!!  Bad Bobo and Sandy ha ha!

The other mistake was with a younger class which had me chuckling away to myself to the bemusement of Starbucks again because one of the younger students wrote the question "do you have teats today?" 

I hope they don't ask this question when they're out, they meant do you have a test today not do you have teats today.  I prefer do you have teats today however! 

I hope get more homework like this!  I should give them extra bonus points if they make a funny sentence!!!  

New Job

So I started working at Hess.  I have heard a lot of bad thngs about Hess and how its all utter bollocks.  That might be for some people, but I assume people are just afraid of working hard. What people generally moan about is the time spent about marking and grading but teachers have to do this the world over so why are we any different. 

At first when I started there it was much tougher than Joy basically because of all the extra work they expect from you.  If you want an easy life as a teacher in Taiwan or Taipei i'd suggest you go to work at Joy or Kid Castle.

As I am not afraid of hard work and trying my best at most things I believe things have started to get easier.  I hope I can keep doing well, and get better at my job.  The good thing about Hess is there are loads and loads of hours, even if it is not on your schedule you can constantly pick up hours which is my main reason I went there in the first place to get more hours.  

The kids are generally nice as are most kids throughout Taipei who I have worked with.  The only thing that constantly nags at me is they don't get the kids to try and speak English all the time, as this would create a complete English environment for them.  In break times and before class they allowed to use Chinese.  Then in the class they have to speak English, the bell goes class finishes and they switch straight back to Chinese. 

I think so far working at Hess I have learnt a lot all ready and I want to keep learning and improving in my job.  I really think I can achieve this.  My supervisor has been totally great, and very very supportive even though I messed up a couple of times all ready in the first month.  I am like the Muller yogurt adverts from back in the day, Something good is always followed by something bad!  Balancing out the good bad relationship in the world. 

Anyway everyone is being supportive and helpful, and I am even now working well with the people who were difficult at first, all this is because of working hard, communicating with people to find out what makes them pissed at you and really getting your head down! 

On the plus side, in my first month I got to be Santa.!  I had to walk around one of the busiest hang out places in Taipei for young people dressed in Santa clothes and singing 'We wish you a merry Christmas.' That was fun! 

I do miss all my students at Joy, because they were all great!  The best students I have ever had to deal with so far, but life moves on and I did take them Christmas sweets because I miss them.  Now this is a new chapter of my life and I am determined to do my best!!!!  

The major perks of Hess - more hours, guaranteed hours, able to get days off, 2 weeks holiday plus 1 month holiday if you sign a new contract, career development chances (seems like they have a decent amount of other job opportunities and chances of moving up in the organisition.)

The downside to Hess - the paper work, having to go around all the jobs you work at to collect your pay (don't get paid in the bank), homework mountains, you have to put in the effort (if you don't want to do this you will hate it) For some people I guess having to work with a co teacher constantly would be a downside, the starting pay is less than other jobs.

With all that said and done I am starting to like it I think, and the extra work I need to do like learning to teach phonics, learning the KK, and marking the homework etc can only make me a better teacher.  I am really enjoying this new challenge in my life. 

homework marking

Make teacher Mark explode!

Even though I am miles away in Taiwan, I still fear this man......

When he comes of the subs bench, pulls the spelks out of his arse and plays for Newcastle, with his light bulb shaped head and his great mega skills of not tackling and stepping over the ball when clean through on goal.

For him a step over is worth a goal! 

Step forward, light bulb head himself - Gabriel Obertan! 

The National are coming to Taipei!

I haven't been so excited to see a band in Taipei ever since I got here, that is until I found out The National are coming to play in February.  All I can hope is they still have tickets left on payday!  This is because its shit fuck expensive!  It is 3200NT (64quid) but god damn I am going!  Oh yeah.

It is actually a two day event, with Mogwai and Daughter playing on the Wednesday night.  I don't actually like Mogwai and think Daughter are just OK, but The National are the muts fucking nuts! 

2014.02.18(Tue) Ásgeir . Youth Lagoon . The National
2014.02.19(Wed) King Krule . Daughter . Mogwai

時間： 入場 18:00 | 開演 19:00
場地：台大綜合體育館一樓多功能球場 (台北市羅斯福路四段一號 )
票價：限量雙日聯票NT4200 | 單日票 NT3200 | 現場 NT3500
開賣時間： 2013.12.02 (Mon) 12:00pm
線上售票：博客來售票網 | iNDIEVOX
實體售票：光點生活中山店 | ARTIFACTS敦南旗艦店

Tickets On Sale : 2013.12.02(Mon) 12:00 
Online Ticketing : Books.com.tw | iNDIEVOX
Physical Ticketing : Spot Design ZhongShan Branch | ARTIFACTS Dunnan Flagship
Ticket Price : 
Two Day Pass NT4200 ( Limited ) / One Day NT3200 / Door NT3500
** November Special : If attend the show on 11/26 or 11/28 can purchase limited two day pass earlier than other people. **
http://www.earwax.com.tw/2013/11/hostess-club-taipei.html

New Year in Taipei.

So the new year came and went in Taipei the other day.  With many other revelers I trudged and plodged through the massed ranks of bodies by Taipei 101 and in the Xinyi area.  As you could imagine it was packed, but this year was special!  I didn't have to stand with the plebs in the sports down the bottom, rammed together like you are in a Newcastle pub on Match day!  No this time I was going to Jen's work, up in the Microsoft offices to watch the show from the balcony.  The view was awesome and I got some decent pictures.

I thought the fireworks were much better than the ones for 2013.  A lot better, the reason they were better was that the 2013 lot was just one mega bang and it lasted about 5 seconds in total!  I am so glad we never went and battled it out with the massive bunch of zombies to see that.

Anyway after the fireworks we all went to party like a boss in the Brass Monkey as you do.  Dancing and rocking out, I was awake for the grand total of 24 hours if you include work, and then queing for breakfast in the morning!  Mental!  Showing I can still cut it with the runts of today!  Proves your getting old when you say, "we partied harder than this back in the day!" 

Here are some photos of Taipei 101. 

The hardest thing to find in Taipei/Taiwan...

Every time I am out walking around and having a browse through Taipei's wonderful sights, I am always confused why its so hard to find two things.

The first thing that is next to impossible to find are public bins/trash cans (for you Americano readers innit).  The best place to find these are at bus stops.  If you can see a bus stop they will often be accompanied by a bin.  I am not talking about seven eleven, as we all know they have bins (some do not) but, I am talking mainly about outside, when you want to throw away the rubbish what can you do, you either keep it or look for a seven, or find a bus stop.  The next best thing is do as the locals do and stick in someone's basket which is attached to their bicycle or scooter outside apartment buildings.  Why they are so hard to find really does puzzle me a lot though, also how the hell are the streets pretty damn clean if there is no where to put the rubbish?  Odd no?  Anyway I know I said just throw it some ones basket but please don't litter Taiwan and give us weiguos! (foreigners!) a bad name all right.!

This is the type of bin I am talking about that can be seen all around Newcastle City Centre

The next thing that are rock rock super rock hard to find are pubic toilets.  The best places to find these again are seven elevens, department stores, fast food places but again these are all not really public toilets.  In a sense I guess the department stores ones are, but I mean public toilets like we have back in England where they are literally just a toilet outside.  So please make sure you know where the toilet stops are wherever you go out in Taiwan or you might end up with a blind panic mad dash to any toilet and have to deal with a squatter, which is possible to do but never as pleasant as sitting there waiting for the massive log to drop out.

Anyway, i'm sure the whole internet world is now better knowing this information.