A good start to the season and glasses gate!

We started off the season with a very good performance against Japanese football club(JFC), who have been a club here in taiwan for a very long time.

I had to follow this game by bloody Facebook status updates because I was still in England visiting family, maybe the cpl should use something like bbc live updates! Anyway this is no way to try and find out how the team you created are doing in their first game as a league team in the cpl.

As I was lying on the bed playing football manager I got an update, we were 1-0 up in 4 minutes. Good old Fred slotting away a penalty. After this I could not sleep as everything I seen for the next 40 odd minutes was that we were still winning 1-0. Then all of a sudden the end result came in on people's Facebook status updates, and we drew 1-1. I was still chuffed because no one has given us a hope in hell of getting any results.

On to our second game against those soft shites the animals. Everyone kept telling me all week that the animals are one of the best teams in Taiwan, however I really disagree. They are an awful team to play against because every time you try to tackle them they fall down like a complete sack of shit. You would think they had been poles axed by some giant thug in the mould of Joey Barton not some small asian lad half the size of them. They are essentially a counter attacking team and were starting to get angry and arguing with each other because we were also playing counter attacking football.

As we were getting to half time goalless something sad happened they scored a goal about 3 yards offside. Confirming what we have been learning about quickly the officials in Taiwan are utter SHIT!

All the gamesmanship, play acting, moaning, asking the ref to dish out yellow cards, and surrounding Gareth for about 5 mins was disgusting!

There was plenty of times when Wilcent (our fast small striker) had them skinned alive and would of left them for dead if they didn't pull him, kick him, elbow him and generally drag him all over! Most of this went unpunished by the shit referee!

Ironically the guy who got sent off and give away the penalty should of been sent off for a clear foul when Wilcent would of been 1 on 1 with the keeper. This was only a yellow and a free kick, the funny thing is the one he gave the same guy another yellow for was never a foul he was just bigger and stronger than Wilcent.

I have never seen that much diving, crying, moaning, complaining, cheating and play acting at any level of amateur football and the sad thing is they don't even need to do it because they have a decent team. If I was in a team like that mind you I would be DISGUSTED with them all and tell them that I thought they are all soft shites.

In the end we done very well under the circumstances with very little protection from the referee and a team of complaining moaning pussies!

We lost the game 3-0.

In another unprecedented level of shitness the referee wouldn't allow one of our very good players to play all because he wears glasses and in the words of that cunt Ferguson someone could be killed with those glasses!

There has since been a vote on wearing glasses and other people are that bloody soft and worried about life threatening injuries from the killer glasses that they don't want them to play against their teams!

I have never heard of any kind of bulkshit like this before maybe we would strike fear into the opposition if we all showed up with killer glasses! That would show them we mean business and as the other teams are shitting their pants with utter utter fear in the eyes, the magpies and our glasses runaway with the cpl title in our first season! Resulting in mass celebrations and our hero 'life threatening glasses' being honoured into Riverside Magpies history forever!